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Feeling Misunderstood

Maybe you’ve heard the common expression “haters are gonna hate.”

Well, human beings are perceivers.  And perceivers are going to perceive!  If you can accept that fact about human nature, and not resist when someone has a misperception about you, defines you, pre-judges you, or misunderstands your intentions… If you can allow all of that (…and you can. It might feel like a life/death situation, but often it is not), you will be much freer.  If you can love people enough to allow them the space to have an imperfect perception of reality, and allow them the grace to make mistakes in their perceptions of you, you will be well on your way to spiritual freedom.

The truth is, you are not at the effect of someone else’s misperceptions.  Regardless of how someone sees you, you will go on being you.   Regardless of how someone misunderstands you or defines you, you are actually not limited by others’ definitions of you.  Consider that it needn’t be so frustrating/maddening/uncomfortable/painful to be misunderstood by another human being.

It helps to know they aren’t doing this to you.  They are perceivers doing their best to perceive the world – they are just trying to make sense of the people around them.  With this awareness, the urgent need to anxiously explain yourself, scramble to defend yourself, or cut them out of your life altogether no longer occur to you as appropriate responses.

  1. This is brilliant and directly applicable to those who are hung up after a break-up. “He broke up with me! He didn’t get a chance to learn the REAL me. He would’ve loved the real me.”

    My goodness. Instead of hungering to change a man’s (mis)perceptions of ourselves and then justify to ourselves that “we love them” — first find someone that wants to deepen, evolve their perception of you and THEN love them.

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